If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize