my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this boner is exhausting
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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