he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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