I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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