I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
