It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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