Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
