Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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