Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
