You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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