I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
