i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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