Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize