Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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