I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I need water and some morals
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
