he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
