I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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