that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
