Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
