i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am puke
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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