I CAN MOONWALK!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
