Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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