and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
