it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Actions speak louder than pants.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
