how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
