Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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