If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize