I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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