halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
