Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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