I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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