ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
