is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
