You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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