Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
