she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
