I skipped work to stalk him.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
