Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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