if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
