Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
