He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
