Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
