Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
