youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
