honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
