i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
