You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
