Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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