it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
