He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
