Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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