ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
