We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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