I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
