I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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