HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize