So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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