im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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