that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
