Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
