my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
