Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
