cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the day after is always just damage control
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize