Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
