True but thats because hes a fetus.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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