Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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