Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize