dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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