how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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