VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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