so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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