Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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