Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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