who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
