Buhtt sex?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
