I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
