so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
