My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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