it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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